How to Win at Life (or Pretty Much Anything Else)

And I won't even charge you monthly installments or make you read my book.  I can pretty much tell you how to win at life in a paragraph.  Now - whether or not you want to actually commit to it is up to you.

Life is merely a tangled web of complicated  (and not-so-complicated) systems.  One of the first lessons we learn in school is about how our body is a complex system.  The next lesson we learn is called aging, in which we learn how those systems continually fuck us over until we die.  There is hope.  Until death, anyway.

Without further ado, here it is - the secret to how to win at life:

1.  Identify the system
2.  Learn the system
3.  Beat the system

It should be further noted that this does not apply to every system in life but I'm going to gauge that save for perhaps 'dating women' this plan is pretty solid.  I know what you are thinking - how can it be that easy?  Well, my friends, sometimes there is a little elbow grease between steps 1 and 3 and that is where we lose people.  The above steps are inherently the recipe for any scheme you will ever encounter.  You have the power to do all of these things on your own.

Everyone is really good at identifying the system.  This is the thing that you want and do not have.  Yet.  Enter our favorite defense mechanism:  excuses.

"Well she's just really lucky."
"She's just always been skinny."
"That stuff is way too complicated for me."

Yeah, you've heard these kind of comments before I'm sure.  They are normally uttered from people I like to call haters.

Haters haven't progressed to step 2 wherein they learn the system, e.g., 'she' is really skinny because she spends 7 hours every week at the gym.  Or, 'she' is really lucky because she plays the lottery every day, and you don't.

Now, maybe you're not a hater.  Maybe you just want in on some of that sweet lucky action.  Three words. Learn.  The.  System.  Find out who is benefits from said system and start stalking them.  Find out what actions they are taking to ensure their success.  More importantly, find out what actions they are not taking to solidify that success.  Find the loophole.  Lo and behold you are likely to learn that luck has very little to do with success.

In my experience, a lot of people like to claim that they try really hard to do things and just aren't successful. However, if you look back at what actions have really been taken in their 'trying hard' arsenal, often it's pretty empty.  If you want to win the lottery, playing once and deeming yourself unlucky is not really trying that hard.  I call bullshit.  Playing every day for three years and still not winning anything might be unlucky.  Let's call it what it is.

Beating the system might entail you getting into some kind of routine.  Maybe it means you go to the gym two more times a week.  Maybe it means you spend an hour entering internet contests.  Chances are, you are going to need to employ some sort of brain power and some sort of strategy.  The fruits of your labor may be a better self-confidence, a more healthy body, or in my case $4,000 worth of prizes in six months and a trip to NYC.

But I'm probably just lucky.