10. Drunkenly intended to jump into bed with my roommate after returning home from the bar, but instead jumped onto some chick who I did not see sleeping underneath the covers and was not wearing pants. Proceeded to sleep with the both of them, anyway, until I had to make a phone call.
9. Later found out that said chick was my friend, whom I did not realize was sleeping with my roommate. Hmmm.
8. Outran a paddy wagon driven by two officers who propositioned us for sex in the back of said paddy wagon. My girfriend said, "Kris, I sooo do not want to fuck them in the back of a van," to which I answered, "Run!" And we did.
7. Took this picture, in front of above-mentioned cops.
6. Made some people gyros outside of the bar on the street vendor cart.
5. Got pulled onto a stage during a concert at the Ohio State game, and was forced to dance to the Rolling Stones' Start Me Up in front of thousands of people at Hineygate.
4. Gave my phone number out to some Black dude named Isaiah, who referenced himself as "isaiah the black dude" when he text messaged me at 3:46 in the morning the same evening. I also received this message the following day: Hey whats up so u dont want me 2 have this number cause u and ur girl danced wit me and my boy
3. Woke up at 10am to get ready for a promotion I was working at the Ohio State game, and was promptly fed a bloody mary, then another, then some Jager, then some beer, then I couldn't feel my legs. Which made #5 very entertaining for everyone. Came home to get some rest in between shifts, and set my alarm for 6am instead of 6pm. Got ready for my next shift by downing a bottle of Savingnon Blanc at Lu Pon-Xi.
2. Got the phone number of a guy who sells foam for a living.
1. Took photos of a huge jar of urine that my friend found in the basement of an apartment into which he just moved. It was actually marked Grand Jug of Urine and dated 2004. Scary.
